Thursday, February 12, 2009

Life Is Grand

My friend introduced me to this web site today that is basically a forum that people use to post blurbs about random crappy aspects of their life. I, personally, think my life sucks a lot of the time so its nice to read shitty things that happen to other people. And it turns out its pretty hilarious! Here are a few of my favorite posts:

"Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it."

"Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D.""

"Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes."

"Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad"

"Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that.""

"Today, my mom and I were looking at pictures from the beach. She goes, "That is a REALLY ugly picture of Michelle" (my cousin). The picture was of me."

"Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him."

"Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip."

"Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to.""

"Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric toothbrush in her hand."

"Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!""

"Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!""

So maybe its not the nicest thing to laugh at other people misfortune, but its making me much happier so I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

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